Long before drivers got into trouble for looking at cell phones and reading texts while driving around town, there was everyone’s favorite distraction: bumper stickers. Estimates peg the beginning of the bumper sticker era to coincide with the addition of bumpers to automobiles in 1927. While we have not yet found an official Award given to creative bumper stickers, we wanted to provide this amusing selection for your pleasure.
Dyslexic poets write inverse.
My car is a status symbol. The symbol of me being poor!
Insanity: a small price to pay for sheer brilliance!
I have an IQ in the top 2%. Who cares about the other 95%?
I can’t get enough minimalism.
Sanity is back-ordered. Sarcasm is in unlimited supply.
I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.
I’m so far behind, I thought I was first.
I am the English Teacher about whom your mother warned you.
That’s irrelevant, and irrelevant never forgets.
I’m 33 1/3 RPM in an iPod world.
Apathy: I could take it or leave it.
I don’t know why I’m even out of bed.
My child serves honor rolls at Baker College.
If life gives you peanuts, make peanut butter.
Beer is now cheaper than gas. Drink, don’t drive!
If I’m talking, everyone should be taking notes.
Faster than a speeding ticket.
Better half a slogan…
Ham radio operators do it with greater frequency.
I have a perfect body. It’s your vision that’s defective.
Well, at least the war on the environment is going well.
Just be happy I’m not a twin.
You probably don’t recognize me without the cape.
Don’t believe everything you think.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
Stable relationships are for horses.
Just say NO to negativity.
I thought I was indecisive; now I’m not so sure.
I read the Constitution for the articles.
Squirrels – nature’s speed bumps.
National Spellling Bee Runer-Up
The winner of the rat race is still a rat.
Custer wore an Arrow shirt.
I’m pink, therefore I’m SPAM.
Be alert. The world needs more lerts.
I didn’t climb to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian!
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. DON’T DRINK AND DERIVE!
I didn’t believe in reincarnation in my last life, either!
Life is too short to worry about how short life is.
Excess is never too much in moderation.
My mind is like a steel trap. Rusty and illegal in most states.
Think globally, Act galactically.
Iambic pentameter in motion.
If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.
Help your local Search & Rescue. Get lost!
Never believe generalizations.
The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance.
I don’t think, therefore I am not.
Avoid alliterations always.
Dyslexics are teople poo.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
If it ain’t broke, take it apart and fix it.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
The control key on the keyboard does not work.
The meek shall inherit the earth, after we’re through with it.
Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!
Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
Lawyers have feelings too (allegedly).
If you believe in telepathy, think about honking.
I’m retired. Go around me.
Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Veni, Vidi, Velcro. I came, I saw, I stuck around.
On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead.
I had the right to remain silent, but I didn’t have the ability.
To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
If you can read this, I’ve lost the trailer!
Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
What we need is a patch for stupidity!
Follow that car, Godzilla – and step on it!
I fought the lawn, and the lawn won.
I always finish what I st
Rehab is for quitters.
Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and name streets after them.
The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
Gravity: It’s not just a good idea. It’s the law.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
If you are what you eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
I’m supposed to back up my hard drive, but how do I put it into reverse?
Chaos, panic, and disorder – my work here is done.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.
Above all else, sky.
The trouble with the gene pool is that there’s no lifeguard.
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.
A day without sunshine is like night.
First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
Old age comes at a bad time.
In America, anyone can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.
I R S: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Life would be easier if I had the source code.
I fish, therefore I lie.
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either!
What if the hokey pokey is really what it’s all about?
If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0!
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
Archaeologists will date any old thing.
If you’re happy and you know it see a shrink.
I drive the speed limit. If you don’t like it, call a cop!
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.