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Printed Business Cards for the Worst Jobs Ever

What would be the worst job ever?

At NextDayFlyers, we’re in the business of providing stunning printed business cards. We cater to people from all vocations and all walks of life, and as you can imagine, some of the businesses can get rather interesting.

With that in mind, we put our heads together and tried to come up with some ideas for what might be the worst jobs ever. If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself on such a career path, here are some ideas on how your business cards might look.

Insult Comic

Insult comic business card

From Don Rickles to Lisa Lampanelli, insult comics are a cherished American institution. Even Triumph the Insult Comic Dog has legions of fans the world over.

But as any great comedian knows, some crowds are more receptive than others. There are certain venues where one’s well-intended humor might be met with less-than-glowing reception. If that heckler disrupts your performance, send this business card flying their way.

Crash Test Dummy

Crash test dummy business card

As a live crash test dummy, you are tasked to extract data from collisions that could be used for future safety precautions. You have the power to determine if the hottest new car on the market doesn’t pass the safety inspection.

And I think that’s a noble job, taking collisions like a pro. As recognition for your own efforts, you need a business card. You deserve it.

Cannibal Colony Dentist

printed business cards for a cannibal colony dentist

Dentists already have one of the grossest jobs in existence. Admit it, not anyone are very faithful with a brushing and flossing habit. So why not add an element of danger? Cannibals are people too, and just because they eat human flesh doesn’t mean they should be denied top-notch dental care.

Just be careful when treating those cavities. Fingers typically don’t grow back.

Dog Food Quality Specialist

printed business cards for a dog food quality specialist


Dog food labels often boast about the deliciousness of their kibble, but who makes this important determination? Are there actually teams of taste-testers who chow down on the latest dog food varieties and rate them on a scale of 1 to 10?

You certainly can’t count on the dogs to accurately rate their food, as they aren’t the most discriminating consumers. Humans are required to assure dog lovers that only the best tasting dog food is given to their pets.

Dog Park Hot Dog Vendor

printed business cards for Dog Park Hot Dog Vendor

Speaking of dogs, I would sure hate to haul a hot dog cart through a crowded dog park, especially on Wiener Dog Appreciation Day.

If you’re going to sell concessions at a dog park, you should probably stick with a food that dogs find unappealing, like… okay, I’ve got nothing. Is there one really?

Antarctic Nudist Colony Administrator

Antarctic Nudist Colony Administrator business card

Ask any nudist or naturist why they choose to live a life free from the fabric shackles that imprison us all. They’ll usually explain that nudism is extremely liberating, and perhaps that it puts everyone on a level playing field.

I would imagine though that nudist colonies are less popular in the colder regions of our planet. Less popular, yes, but not necessarily non-existent. But hey, there are penguins down at the south pole so it might not be too far-fetched. You know what? Being an administrator for a nudist colony might not be so bad.

At NextDayFlyers we can print business cards for any line of work. Our printed business cards are ultra thick and rendered in stunning high resolution. Check out your customizable options on our business card printing page and be the best dog-food quality specialist you can be!

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